I just finished watching Julie and Julia. And I do NOT want to be a cook.
However, it did cause me to wonder about some things. Wonder about why it is I’m always searching for a project – searching for the next thing – not quite satisfied with what is.
This coming week I will join some friends at work to learn how to knit. Not because I think this is going to be a great hobby of mine. But because I just want to know how. They know how, and so I’ve talked them into teaching me.
I am also working on my baby’s first birthday party. Mr. Potato Head theme, I might add. And let me tell you, I’m having fun with the theme. It’s the actual follow-through of the details that I worry about. I told Gerron tonight that I’m incredibly tempted to make t-shirts for all of us. Henley’s would say, “Tater Tot”, Gerron’s would say, “One Hot Potato”, Emma’s would say, “My dad’s a spud” and, well, I don’t know what mine would say . . . funny enough if I were a drunk or pot-head (which I am neither) there would be lots: “Smashed potato”, “Fried Potato”, “Hash”. At any rate, maybe mine would say, “I dig starches”. 🙂
I also want to redecorate most of my house and paint and finally feel moved in after living here for almost 2 and a half years. I have a pile of my grandmother’s quilt pieces that I want to do something with. Too afraid to get them near my sewing machine yet.
Projects. Ideas. Mind racing. And this is above what I have to get accomplished at work. More than the daily effort of trying to raise my girls and have food on the table and maybe even spend some time with my husband. You know, life.
I think part of the reason is because the thought of standing still sounds absolutely debilitating. And it’s not about success. It’s not even about being good at something. I think it’s the fact that I’m still waiting to land on the thing where what I’m good at and what I really love come crashing together.
I don’t think it’s going to be knitting.
But one day it’s going to click. One day it has to.