I have to admit that my diagnosis did make me feel like I was entitled to a few things. I mean, let’s be honest, if you were told you had cancer don’t you think you’d want to pull the “cancer card” every once in a while?
“What do you mean I have to wait in this long line . . . don’t you know I have cancer?”
“Oh, full price? Really? Would it make a difference if I told you I have cancer?”
“Honey, can you do the dishes tonight? I have cancer.”
Well, let me tell you, it doesn’t matter. This diagnosis does not make the world stop. So, I’ve put together a little list of the things that still are the same, regardless of my condition.
Ear infections in 6 month olds still happen.
Dogs still need to be let out.
Dinner still has to be cooked.
My metabolism is still slow.
Deadlines still have to be met.
The alarm still goes off before 6 a.m.
Bills still need to be paid.
Candy bars still have a million calories.
Laundry still needs to be washed and put away.
Cars still need oil changes.
Okay, so I’d really like for the whole metabolism/candy bar thing to be different, but I kind of like that my life hasn’t stopped for this. It is business as usual, just with a little more intentionality. I think I would lose my mind if everyone took care of everything for me. I like the normalcy.
I like that my house looks like a tornado blew through it because, as tired as I have been from having a sick baby, it has been a great day of watching Emma play. I like that the dishes are still in the sink because Gerron is spending some sweet time with her watching a movie upstairs. I like that I’m exhausted because it means I have literally spent my life today taking care of the ones I love the most. That’s a good feeling.
Yesterday we drove through a neighborhood of million dollar homes and, of course, wondered how in the world people get to the place where they can buy something like that. As we pulled out of the neighborhood, I had so many things running through my mind. And finally told Gerron that we might have a stressful life right now, and things are tight, and million dollar homes are not nearly a possibility EVER for us . . . but that I am happy. Completely happy. And if it means I don’t ever have a million dollar home but have the life I have with him and my girls . . . well, that’s just how I’d like to have it.
Linford Detweiler from one of the greatest groups on the planet (Over the Rhine) was quoted in a magazine once. And this quote has been one that I have loved. He said, “I simply want God to speak into the life I’ve been given. It’s a good life. And saying ‘thank you’ is what I want my life to be about.”
This is the life I’ve got . . . I can let God speak into it and be grateful for it. Or I can ignore his voice and be bitter. Eh, no brainer.
What about you?