In the meantime

I am still waiting to hear when my surgery will be.  I can’t express enough how ready I am to get this stuff out of me, so waiting is difficult.

Isn’t it always?

It seems the more I wait, the more anxious I become about the process.  I have a lot of confidence in the end result . . . but when I think about what I will have to endure to get to the end result, well, it can feel a bit debilitating.

Today I was reading a little more about the radioactive iodine that I will take several weeks after the surgery.  This stuff is amazing, apparently.  Even called the “magic bullet”.  I don’t understand all the details, but if I’m understanding correctly, thyroid cells are the only ones that can absorb iodine.  So, in essence, it will be a bit of a trojan horse scenario.  I will take the iodine, the thyroid cells will absorb it and the radiation from the iodine will kill the remaining cells.

Gerron asked me if I would glow.  He’s kind of hoping I will.

I have a mental picture of me turning into Homer Simpson.  As if I wasn’t nervous enough already.

At any rate, as amazing as this treatment is, it is very dangerous to others.  Especially small children.  So . . . there is a chance I will be in isolation.

Isolation.

You do realize that I’m an extrovert.

My presence will be toxic to others – so I will be alone.  This is difficult to fathom.

Toxic and in isolation.

Makes me think that there are many who are in isolation.  Some prefer it, I guess.  But as Christians we are called to community – to sharing life. 

So, what do you do with those who have toxic lifestyles?  Toxic attitudes?  Toxic words?

We tend to isolate, right?  And I just wonder if it would make a difference if we brought them into community. 

I don’t have the answer.  I just know that I don’t ever want to be in isolation.  I guess, though, that in this instance, I will have to be.

It’s going to suck.

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4 thoughts on “In the meantime

  1. One of the names of God is Jehovah-Shammah. You probably already know the meaning…but it is GOD IS THERE. So, as you go through the period of isolation…there may be times you will feel lonely…but remember you will never be alone…for GOD IS THERE. We are still going to believe for a miracle…but however God chooses to “heal” you…it will be right…and HE will be there. Love you…great to see you last night.

  2. Remember, that sometimes the only way we can hear God is in the stillness of the moment. For extroverts, that often means separating yourself for a period of time from others in order to really hear God.

    My prayer is that during this isolation period that you will encounter God in ways you never dreamed possible.

  3. My friend Erin had to do that…it WAS really hard. Having to send her animals away, not to mention her husband having to sleep at a friend’s house for a couple of nights…

    But I think she would be the first to tell you that not only is it worth it, it was also a blessing in many of those moments. Solitude is something we all *need* whether we want it or not. Forced solitude may not create the best attitude for it, but it is still filling that need.

    She used it as a time of meditation and spiritual retreat. And I think, though the story is hers to tell, it was a good, good thing.

  4. You are in my thoughts and prayers…I am really learning from your blog…God is using your very tender words to talk to me…the little things I am going thru right now are very minor considering what you are going thru…but I hope you know there are many lessons being brought forth in your very inspiring testimony…Thank you very much for being so truthful..

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