Not exactly what I wanted to hear

It is quite surreal to be writing this post.

We went in for my biopsy today.  It was at 11.  We dropped the girls off at school and then went to coffee across the street from Vanderbilt where my appointment would be.  It was nice, we sat outside.  And we laughed.  It was a really good morning.

Dana, our pastor, met us at the Otolaryngology (say that 10 times fast) Clinic and we chatted – she prayed – we laughed.  And we waited.  For almost 2 hours.  Busy place it seems.  Still, a good morning.

I was finally called back and the resident came in to check things out.  He went to UNC for medical school – I told him I was a life long Duke fan – he pretended to walk out.  He was great.  He then called the surgeon in and he checked things out.  He felt positive, but did say that it was abnormal for a lymph node to be that large for no reason.  So, he went ahead with the biopsy.  Still, a good morning.

The doctors who do biopsies (I don’t know what they are called) came in and explained the procedure.  They said that it is a high anxiety procedure, but low pain procedure.  To which I said, “so, you’ll numb the area” to which they replied, “No, the needle is the same size and numbing it would make it harder to find the lump” to which I said, “oh, great.”

They were going to have to stick me 4 times.

I passed out after the second stick.

They stopped.

About 20 minutes later, the surgeon came in.  And in a matter of fact way sat down and said, “well, the pathology is saying Thyroid Cancer”.

My reply was “okay” and then about a half a second later I said, “WHAT?”  “Now that’s not what I wanted to hear”.

So, Thyroid Cancer.  Never thought I’d be claiming that on my medical records.

He gave us the rundown of what will most likely be the course of action, though we won’t know more for sure for a couple of days.  Basically, it looks like I will have surgery to remove my thyroid (which means thyroid meds for the rest of my life) and remove some lymph nodes.  The biopsy was done on the lymph node, which means the Cancer has moved there.  But I got the impression that if it is only in the neck lymph nodes and nowhere else, it is highly, highly treatable.

He actually told us to “google” Thyroid Cancer at reputable sites.  I did.  And if it’s caught early enough (and this is a slow progressing Cancer, most likely) it has something like a 97% cure rate.

Encouraging.  But still, as my friend Alisa said, poopy.

It could have been worse.

So, at this point, we are still waiting for more definitive information.  Praying that we have discovered this early enough so treatment will be successful.  Trusting that God is going to work in some really creative ways.  And hoping that we will bring glory to Him through the process.

It is surreal.  I don’t look sick.  Don’t feel sick.  So, the fact that I have Cancer just doesn’t seem possible.  It hasn’t sunk in.  And maybe it won’t for a long time.  However, I’m thankful that I’ll have the chance to love on my husband and girls more intentionally.  Grateful for the opportunity to ask how I’m going to allow God to change me through this.

So, there you go.  Hi, my name is Jennifer.  I have Cancer.  And I’m going to allow God to work a miracle in my life.

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9 thoughts on “Not exactly what I wanted to hear

  1. Oh Jen… first off, I feel so blessed to find a place where you write. I look forward to keeping up with your family here. I am sorry to hear about this diagnosis for you and am praying fervently from here on out for God’s complete healing. I know He does heal. I’ve seen it in all sorts of ways in people’s lives. Sometimes it is in the journey that healing comes even more than in the physical self. Bless you my friend… and warm hugs from across the miles.

  2. Jen, please know you are in our prayers. I’ve asked our church and school community to pray as well. We serve a God who can do miraculous things, and I’m trusting that He is in charge.

  3. Much, much love to you and prayers going up.

    My friend/neighbor Erin was diagnosed with thyroid cancer about 2 years ago–in much the same way you were I think. I’m positive she would be happy to chat with you about her journey and different options you have. I’ll be glad to put you guys in contact with each other if you like. She’s very strong in her faith and has been quite an inspiration to me.

  4. Jen, we love you so much and are praying for you, it is hard to be four hours from you and Gerron because we want to hug on you guys right now, but we will pray instead…

  5. Hey! I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry about these results, but I know that God is going to be near to you and work in you through all of this! I also wanted to encourage you that I have a friend and her mother had thyroid cancer and is fine now! My friend has had a lot of Thyroid issues in her life as well and recently thought she might have it too. She was explaining all the ins and outs to me about it. She said if you have to get cancer it is probably one of the best kinds to get because it is so treatable. So I am sure you will get lots of stories about things like this, but I wanted to echo what you said about it being very treatable and encourage you that we will be praying with you and Gerron. God is able and He has a wonderful purpose for you and your family! Ps 37:39 “But the salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; He is their strength in time of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them.” We love you all!

  6. We are praying for you and your family. Please let us know if there is anything you need. If you need anyone to watch your babies at anytime or need help with anything, please don’t hesitate to ask. Love and prayers are being sent your way!

    Michelle (and Brady)

  7. I came upon your site when Nest was doing “Price your Space” and saw your nursery. I have just been checking your blog out ever since. I am praying for you. I am praying that God is in control and he will bless you with a miracle. He will be there for you in the nick of a moment. He is there to help you and encourage you. He is the mighty and our saviour. I pray that you are healed and DO love on your family!!

  8. You sound like a person who looks on the bright side of things and that is a good start to self recovery! Keep it up,you will be an inspiration to many people, myself included. I find out on Monday 26oct how ‘good’ or if I want to accept how ‘bad’ life will be, when I get results from all kinds of tests on a lymph node which was removed recently. The people in my life who have contracted cancer have all been extremely brave and special, so much as I’d like to be cancer free, I hope I too will be brave and special.

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