Too far from family

Been a tough few days.

My grandmother (my last living grandparent – and one of the most stubborn women on the planet) had a massive stroke on Thursday.  Though the didn’t expect her to make it through the night, she has somewhat improved over the past couple of days.  She is almost completely paralyzed, can’t swallow, but she is able to talk just a little and raise one of her hands.

And I have to be honest that I don’t know if it’s better or worse that she’s improved just a little.  I just don’t want her to be in pain or to feel trapped in her body.  However, I really would love to be able to see her again and her know how much I love her.  

It’s times like these that I wish I were closer to family.

On Friday morning I woke up to a phone call – expecting news about grandma.  It was my brother who shared with me that our cousin had been killed in a car accident during the night.  She was the only daughter of my mom’s brother.  Which means, as he’s dealing with the impending loss of his mother he gets the unthinkable news about his daughter, the mother of 3 of his teenage grandkids.  

It’s times like these that I wish I were closer to family.

Not that I could do anything.  Not that it would even make a difference.  But, I feel helpless being so far away.  

So, I sit with my phone next to me at all times.  And try to interpret the updates as best as I can.  And do whatever I can from a distance, until I can get there and just BE with my family.

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