I’m addicted to a blog by The Nester – she’s having a blog party about imperfect, beautiful things. I think the most imperfect beautiful thing in my life is my marriage. I posted this last week – thought it was fitting for the blog party . . .
It is so easy for me and my husband to look at other couples and families and comment that theirs are surely charmed lives. Those people would never stay up all hours of the night fighting – they probably never feel like their world is utter chaos – they eat right, exercise and their kids are dressed just so. Those people also never have to worry about money, are thin, and their houses are always ready for company.
And, those people never get divorced.
This week celebrated 9 years of marriage. Also during this week, I have found out that some friends of ours have separated. And I wonder how it happens.
I think it happens a little at a time. And I think it happens when we think that everyone else must have it all together and we’re the weird ones with the tempers, insecurities and disappointments. I think it can happen to anyone. Even us.
But when I look at my life – my husband – my kid, I start to realize that the charmed life is the authentic life. It’s not an easy life. But I noticed that after an argument we had the other night, we’ve been much more attentive to each other. We’ve laughed more. We’ve loved more. My life is charmed because I CAN be real. I certainly would not prefer the arguments, but I’m thankful that I can trust this man so completely that I know those arguments will not be the end of us. I can trust him to stay. I can trust me to stay. I mean, isn’t that what we promised to do 9 years ago? For better, for worse?
I am married to a man who can make me laugh until I cry. He is quick to say he’s sorry. He forgives my hormonal, emotional, craziness. He wants to be involved in the little things with Emma – like putting her to bed at night and the big things like teaching her to pray. He worries . . . because he cares. He is not arrogant in the least, even when he could be. And he is fun to be around. I make friends because he’s so much fun. That’s cool.
I give him a hard time a lot, but I know I am blessed beyond measure. He is the man for me. And I’m smitten.